Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Aremu goes to school

Information reaching us has confirmed that President Matthew Okikiolu Olusegun Aremu Obasanjo (GCFR) has re-enrolled to go back to school.
The idea sounds nice, but one disturbing fact there is that he's going to study Diploma in Christian Theology in the School of Arts and Social Sciences. Then one wonders, what exactly does he need that course for? If it was a degree in Economics, then we'll say he needed to learn from the few mistakes he made while in government.
The closest explanation to Mr. Aremu's choice is that he is finally planning to rest from partisan politics. He is going to be an elder statesman who will be armed with diploma in settling disputes amongst ethnics, parties and ideologies.
But can Baba Otta rest after May 29 2007? After allaying every stakeholder who was not in the same class of thinking with him.....
Who is deceiving who?
Obo n gb'obo g'ope (Monkey is helping another monkey climb a tree).

Sunday, November 26, 2006

The power of hope

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for - Allan K. Chalmers.

If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea - Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

One characteristic of black people worldwide, especially Nigerians, is that there's always hope somewhere at the back of their minds, even where there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.
There's always abundance hope in Nigeria. 'E go better ' is the slogan. And whoever doesn't believe in that is perceived to be demon-possessed and heading towards destruction.
Amidst the 39 sitting 99 standing in the molue, hope is not missen in anyone that things will get better (if not with the nation in general, at least with them).
Amidst those who go through hook & crook means, impersonation (ori-olori), and the determination to get to any land where one can see white men living, the bottomline is that hope resides within them that things will get better and they'll come home one day to become Chiefs, Cash Madams, Owambe peeps et al.
From Chinedu whose father sold all his stock investments for him to travel out, who later couldn't get any better/easier thing to do than to be an Odu boy; Tamuno who's selling groceries in Yokohama; to Loretta from Benin who's in Spain trying to make a living; to Hamza who's packing snow this winter for money, hope is the oil that runs their locomotives.

And hope seems not to have diminished with those that are even at home & aren't successful in finding ways to checking out. A workmate recently narrated a scenario in which he saw a man (probably in his late 50s) went to a young lady who is a lottery agent and sat with her, keenly looking at what she was doing and handing what seems to be no small money over to her. He was PLAYING LOTTERY! His mien expressed statements like 'Better play this well, 'cos I gotta win this one or else all hell will let loose'.
The lottery is fast gaining grounds after the seeming demise of the 'POOL' famous with elderly men because they hardly win.
The pool has now been so modernised that it's called lottery and the draws are even aired on national TV and local stations, some even use mobile phones for playing them.
There are three lottery services with various inspiring tags:
1. National Lottery - Levels go change o
2. Lagos State Lottery - E fit be you o
3. Baba Ijebu - Dapada!

Of all the three lotteries mentioned above, none is as popular, widely accepted and lucrative in Lagos as much as Baba Ijebu. Levels go change o and E fit be you o were tags chosen by their operators. But Dapada! (return it) wasn't picked by the operators of Baba Ijebu (headed by one Chief Kessington), it was christened by locals because of the generous way it blesses those that play it. I can confidently inform you that the volume of transaction of Baba Ijebu is more than 100 million a day (it aint a dream, it's reality).
While others are using sophisticated equipments to run and even have websites, Baba Ijebu is simply local and doesn't require much to run his business. And people are winning LIKE HELL!!
My aunt told me she once saw her friend at a Baba Ijebu kiosk playing lottery who urged her to come and play. Her friend played with N2000! Talk about hope.
If you win, Baba Ijebu doesn't give cheques or redeemable instruments but raw cash, even if it's 4 million. Even the IFAs & WC in Etomi blog are gradually taking to it.

All these are happening when people are finding it hard to get three square meals. Many would rather have two and use money for the third to play Baba Ijebu if he would Dapada!
In a civilized and normal world, lottery is meant to be played with small money. But due to poverty which begets the strong belief in hope and a better tomorrow, many (like that man) prefer to invest heavily in lottery 'cos the money sef no reach do all the things you want do. He that is down needs fear no fall.
HELP!!! Some people are using their dry breads to scoop our soup.

****I've got a business proposal for we bloggers; why not let's put money together to organise another Baba Ijebu kinda lottery in Lagos? The return on investment (ROI) is more than 100% in 6 months. The stats? There are more than 15 million people in Lagos. Furthermore, as long as the Nigerian blood runs in the veins of people residing in Lagos, we'll always make money from them. It's what I call the power of hope.*******

Monday, November 20, 2006

I passed | Get me a gun

I've not been blogging consistently because I was preparing for an exam and reading like no man's business.
Well, there's no need to do that again 'cos I went for the exam today and I PASSED!!!!!! Ope factorial! Now I'm a Microsoft Certified Partner.
This time it won't be funny if I send another certificate again to my employers and they still don't do anything meaningful.
That's when I'm gonna switch to plan B.
Plan B: I've been saving some money to GET ME A GUN and do the needful for those Management guys (bloody baggers!). The issue is that I have to plan it well 'cos I can't take them all out using double barrel or AK47 'cos the rounds won't be enough. So I'm saving more so I can get me a sub-machine gun that'll take them all out at once.








Make una thank God for me o.
So where are the oil companies I've been running after?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Loser!


One of them losers - Atarodo.

All those who stole the nation's money shall not come back again.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Different strokes

In Africa, it's the fight against corruption, poverty, greed and dieseases. In some other places.............

India's Supreme Court is to review the fate of 300 monkeys captured roaming on the streets of the capital, Delhi.
The court had ordered that the monkeys be relocated to forests in central Indian state of Madhya Pradesh.
But the animals are proving unpopular there and locals there have lodged an official objection to the plan.
Thousands of monkeys roam Delhi, mostly around government offices, and are considered a public nuisance.
For years the wild animals have caused havoc, riding on the city's metro trains, roaming through parliament.
They have invaded the prime minister's office and the Defence Ministry, helping themselves to top secret military files.
They cannot be killed because many Indians see them as sacred.
Instead they have been captured, their fate decided by a bench of Supreme Court judges headed by India's Chief Justice.
Some 250 monkeys have already been relocated by a court order to forests in the central Indian state of Madhya Pradesh.
But many people there are now objecting, saying the animals are bringing with them their hooligan habits learnt in the city and are terrorising rural villages.
So the Supreme Court has been asked to find another solution. The monkey menace is proving a tricky issue, exercising some of India's most eminent legal minds.

Damn monkeys disturbing people's lives! Don't these people know that monkey soup is a real delicacy? Ask them 404 people.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

From frying pan to fire

It's bad enough that there was a plane crash in Nigeria on sunday, which is definitely a symptom of the dysfunctional avation sector proudly managed by Prof. Babalola Borishade. It's more pathetic that the man has, because of his desire for money, power, fame or God knows what, refused to give up his post thereby causing the loss of the lives of many people.
And it's rather gruesome to exchange his duty with CHIEF FEMI FANI-KAYODE! 8-X. Was the man brought in for damage-control, damage increment or what? He on his own is a one-man squad that can cause catalytic damage. At this time when many of those who lost their loved ones' bloods are boiling, the last thing people need is words from the man's mouth when he's doing what he's known to do best.
In a bid to find someone to barb one's hair when there's no barber, there's no need to drop the gardener who can still do something useful for the farmer who only knows how to use his cutlass to fell trees and shrubs.

It's a true saying that blood is thicker than water. The ties between Borishade and Mr. President is similar to that of David Blunkett and Prime Minister Blair.