Saturday, September 30, 2006

Bomboclart

See me see life oh! I was enjoying myself (working in the office...rather pathetic) this morning, an environmental sanitation morning, busy exchanging text messages with Sunshine (thanks to Globacom who gave us free 35 free text) and this text came in. I picked the phone, hoping to read her next thread and I discovered it's not from her.
Here it goes:
Congratulation! You have won #100,000. Your no. is among the winners of the La Casera drink bonanza. ticket no. 00190. Call 08077240804 to claim your prize.
I was reeling with both laughter & anger at the same time.
Trust me now, it didn't take me time to organise something as solid as a baseball bat to hurl at the jobless farts;
Which Nigerian do you think will fall for such idiotic brilliance? This nation has become too sensitive for you to use such cheap tricks. I suggest you try Ghana. Ode!
I even tried flashing the number so the person can call me back so I can give him the insult of his life/sermon on the mount. He opted wisely, he never called, or hasn't.
There are many hungry people here oh. When we no dey Warri/Prague.
Abi person wey no play lotto fit win am? Bombloclart!

Yeah I got my PC & connection now, so welcome to paradise annex.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

You be thief, I no be thief

Chai!! You can't believe the cans of worms that were opened by Mallam Nuhu Ribadu. Massive corruption and embezzlement in a grand scale.
To be sincere, I've always wanted a situation where coruption would be tackled. But I never had any idea that corruption in Nigeria is as immense and mega as it is being unraveled.
Imagine close to N50 BILLION repatriated from the money stolen by Alams!! Agbabiaka oh! In just under about 5yrs of Democratic rule. What if he was ruling in the military junta? And he was the Head of State & not the governor? His looting would have been greater than Abacha's, no doubt.
Then imagine 31 Abacha-like state governors!! More than enough ticks to suck a dog dry of blood. These are not petty thieves oh. They are like zombies appearing at various/different places in the nation. This statistic seems to be staggering, but it seems like there are about 10 thieves to every 8 leaders in the nation.
I wish the penalty could be death by hanging or Jerry Rawlings style we can adopt to deal with these blood-sucking maggots. Then there wouldn't be any leader in Nigeria again, just like there aren't aged people in Ghana.
Now it's time for the argument like Fela sang ;

'You be thief, I no be thief
You be armu robber, I no be armu robber'.

How I wish only two people were alive right now, Tai Solarin & Fela. Even CNN would relocate their head office to Nigeria 'cos there'll be up-to-the-minute news flowing.
After a long while, we all can now sit back & relax to enjoy the nicely spiced cans of worms.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Roforofo fight

Yeah I'm back from the dead.
I've been enjoying every bit of the roforofo fight between our President & his deputy. I never knew mudslinging is this wow. It's simply hilarious. We the people of this great nation have been given the priviledge to learn about all the things that were done in secret.
A new dub has been formed; if you OBJ me I Atiku you!
Some say they are bringing disgrace to the positions they are holding and to the nation. I say do you because of some position let someone who did such dirty things be left alone just like that? You are appointed to such lofty position, you should be ready to account for anything you do while in that position.

Make we left matter, I was surprised to find out in the papers one day that that famous & hugely respected journalist is a member of KGB. I wondered what gave Reuben (you're free to guess, I no tok am) the impetus to boldly express disagreements with top officials of the Nigerian government on the pages of newspapers without thinking about the consequences. Now I realise that that adage that says 'There's someone behind the oracle that gives the Oracle it's sound. I didn't jist you sha oh!

Now to Anita Hogan - the actress that posed nude for whoever the man is (either husband or rich white guy). Some say she should be left alone, some say she's a disgrace to womanhood. I simply say the dirts of every man doesn't trail them anymore, it just boards a bus & overtake them on the way. What do you think of the matter?

And there's a boost to the fight against malaria - DDT has been approved for use by WHO. Now I know that Bill Gates has been anointed to succeed in whatever he does. Focusing on something different from Microsoft must definitely bring results.
Now these useless insects should become extinct by 2015 if our government quickly puts measures in place to implement the use.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Workstralia

Oh no! You guys can't believe it.
I've been posted to a newly created unit where there's no access to the internet. There isn't even a computer yet!!
It feels like hell. I seriously need a pillow.
I think my sins have finally caught up with me.

Not to worry, things will get better.