Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Talking out of your arse

I sure have seen many people attain political positions without serious academic feats to tally with those highly important posts. The presidency is open to anyone who has a minimum academic credential of primary school certificate. That is why Obasanjo in his early days could open his mouth and say that his fuel doesn't sell for a certain low price, as long as people can buy a bottle of beer for a hundred naira and above, he didn't see any reason why people shouldn't buy a litre of petrol at that price. But Nigerians have seen a more refined Obasanjo. He doesn't dose at venues when he goes on tours anymore.
He wouldn't drink his tea in one gulp anymore when he goes to visit the Queen. He doesn't slap anyone sitting next to him in the arm on occasions when something funny comes up after being corrected by Ali Baba. He doesn't prolong his 3 minutes statement by clearing his throat for 2 mins again. He doesn't poke at his nose with his bare hands when at a UN meeting again. And evidently, his profuse belly has reduced to a size more carriable. Surely Baba has been repackaged.


+ repackaging =











Alaiyemeseigha can blurt out that he sees no reason why his son should be arrested for carrying 50,000 pounds considering his son's status.
Their words can simply be forgiven simply because of one fact - they are politicians/soldiers. They weren't taught to think very deep.
One thing I do not know is if you can become a seasoned journalist without spending many years learning, especially if you report for CNN.

I must admit that Lou Dobbs must have been talking out of his arse for calling America's help to developing nations as 'borrowing to send to lesser souls who are uncomfortably situated in poorer nations that can only aspire to their superpower status'.

No be ya fault, na condition make crayfish bend.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Imagine what weed can do

From

to



Seriously, say NO to drugs.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Plenty nonsense

There are many things going on here. The disappointment there is that 98.5% of them aren't good news.
One was the jist that Funsho Williams, the man who has since wanted to become the governor of Lagos state, was murdered. Then it was confirmed officially that he was slain in his house. The shocker was when I heard his full name : ANTHONY! Olufunsho Williams. I was unhappy with that.
Not that I didn't care at all about someone being killed, I was already expecting that politicians, who by nature don't have the mental capacity to think very far, would start killing themselves like Sicilian mafia. I only knew Funsho Williams to be a very gentle man from far away. I didn't really know what his inner man seemed to be, not nowadays that the most quiet ones (like our VP) are the most gluttonous. But I must admit, he was a gentleman from what most most people saw.
So then I decided to honour him by keeping quiet until he's buried. And he'll be today.
But what baffles me is how those policemen who called their British counterpart to help them by scooping fingerprints at the murder scene will fish out the perpetrators. You gotta have a databank of fingerprints of all Nigerians, if that's too much - Lagosians then, for you to be able to match those scooped. Abi white man don become winch wey dey get people without matching with database? Well, don't let us dishonour funsho's demise.
Adieu Funsho.
Over & out.

Then comes the story of the Bin Laden turned pastor who roasted his church members by fire after charging them with adultery. When God of Elijah refused to send down fire, he organised man-made one to destroy the erring church members.

This pastor caught my attention sometimes ago when I saw the enormous beards he parades and the lavish title ascribed to him: Most Honourable Reverend Doctor Chukwuemeka King. Do you need so many titles to perform your duties? Even the Secretary General of UN doesn't have that! Abi it was God's leading to amass those large beards? Orisirisi dey happen for Lagos oh. If you are a man and are blessed with being hairy, just try join some attachment to it and learn how to shake your body very well & people will visit you, no matter how crude your church setting looks. Just do mysterious things and people will come. You don't even need Juju nowadays, just know how to assess people and psyche them, your church will be filled up in a month. And if you want youths to visit your church, get some texts on motivation and start preaching on better days to come & you'll see ardent youths jump in the congregation shouting 'ride on Pastor'.
This bros no just mercy for those people oh, him roast dem so tey one of dem don die after intensive care.
Plenty nonsense dey happen for hia oh.