Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Our God, our help in ages past

I woke up this morning and this hymn pierced through my memory:

Our God, our help in ages past,

Our hope for years to come,

Our shelter from the stormy blast,

And our eternal home.

Under the shadow of Thy throne

Thy saints have dwelt secure;

Sufficient is Thine arm alone,

And our defense is sure.

Before the hills in order stood,

Or earth received her frame,

From everlasting Thou art God,

To endless years the same.

Thy Word commands our flesh to dust,

“Return, ye sons of men:”

All nations rose from earth at first,

And turn to earth again.

A thousand ages in Thy sight

Are like an evening gone;

Short as the watch that ends the night

Before the rising sun.

The busy tribes of flesh and blood,

With all their lives and cares,

Are carried downwards by the flood,

And lost in following years.

Time, like an ever rolling stream,

Bears all its sons away;

They fly, forgotten, as a dream

Dies at the opening day.

Like flowery fields the nations stand

Pleased with the morning light;

The flowers beneath the mower’s hand

Lie withering ere ‘tis night.

Our God, our help in ages past,

Our hope for years to come,

Be Thou our guard while troubles last,

And our eternal home.

By the way, it's my birthday.

Celebrate with me.

Monday, December 14, 2009


At times when I think of what my work does to me and my blog, it makes me feel like ........

Monday, April 20, 2009

FBI Recruitment

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews And testing were done, there were 3 finalists;
Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed Him a gun.
'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair .. . . Kill her!!'
The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.'
The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man For this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was Quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, But I can't kill my wife.'
The agent said, 'You don't Have what it takes.
Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the Same instructions, to kill her husband.
She took the Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one After another.

They heard screaming, crashing, Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was Quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.
'I had to Beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Mumu Of The Highest Order

Imagine a real, true-life mumu in jail?

Escapee caught creeping into jail

Jail guards in the US state of Georgia searching for an escaped inmate did not have to look very far - the fugitive was caught sneaking back into prison.

Guards spotted Harry Jackson, 25, trying to creep back in with 14 packs of cigarettes allegedly stolen from a nearby store.

The alarm had been raised earlier after a jail door was found unlocked.

He had opened a door to the exercise yard and climbed an outer fence to get away, Sheriff Tommy Gregory said.

Jackson now faces new charges of breaking out of prison and burglary, reported AP news agency.

He was in jail in Woodbine, Camden County, on charges including possession of a controlled substance and violating probation

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Financial Meltdown In The Family


Unavoidably, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and, under no circumstance is any violation allowed.
1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.
2. Breakfast is banned. This matter is not for discussion.
3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such food, must write to Me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving convincing nutritional reasons backed by a qualified dietician.
4. Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted.
5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.
6. Security lights are being removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.
7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.
8. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from The House.
9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in The House, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).
10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Mayor, Village Headman or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay home. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away upon arrival.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Political Phantasmagoria

The recent news that the Nigerian President has announced pay cut for all politically-appointed office holders is highly commendable.
Now to face the facts, everyone in the nation (even little kids in creche) know that salaries to these people don't add up to 10% of their earnings/emoluments/egunjes/erans/greases. So who dey lie dash who?
Even with the pay cut, being a Minister in Nigeria automatically makes one an instant billionaire. The structure in place enables this at the expense of the nation and development of critical infrastructure. Except that is addressed, cutting pays will only amount to trying to catch up with Haile Gebrselassie while running on a threadmill.
The fig. below says it all.
An educative write-up on it can be found here.

Thursday, January 22, 2009



In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days.

The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel
declaring, “Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.

You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!
This is too good not to forward.