The Chef Who Had Ulcer

"Bonny Island plant, the third world’s largest, supplies gas to mostly European customers including Gas Natural of Spain, BOTAS of Turkey, Gaz de France and TRANSGAS of Portugal, with the biggest being the Italian electric power giant ENEL, which agreed to buy 3.5 billion cubic metres (bcm) per year of LNG for over 22 years".......writes ThisDay newspaper.

All my life, I have never come across a thin chef. Oga Elias, while I was in Mayflower, had a belly bigger than that of a woman pregnant with triplets.

In a country that there is arguably no gas to power turbines to be used for power projects, it is really sad. How can a cattle herdsman after breeding from calf to cattle decide to sell all his animals while his family is hungry without meat to eat?
The summary of the story is that the Bonny Island project, that is supposed to provide gas, was designed and contracted to give ALL of its produce to gas companies in Europe for more than a decade while Nigeria languishes in darkness.
One of the issues to be raised here is that what were those who approved the project thinking? The project was conceived about 13 years ago, that should be around the time -Oh My God! - Abacha was there. Who was the minister for petroleum then? Inserts needed please.
Between then and the time OBJ was petroleum minister, some people stupidly gave out all our gas to European companies.
My question is not why people would do that, because it mos def was for kickbacks and Ghana-Must-Go (GMG). Since it is a constant (I can bet grandma's grave on it - bless her soul) that they would have gotten GMGs for the project, either giving the whole produce to the European companies or leaving some for Nigeria to use, why not choose the latter?
This really baffles and scares me because the act does not show only greed at work, there is a devilish characteristic displayed in the act. If you sell part you get GMG, if you sell all you get GMG. So why not sell part, get rich and let the nation move forward? Wouldn't that be a win-win scenario?
It is therefore evident that some people in this great nation of ours;
(1) Want to get rich by collecting GMGs
(2) Also want to make sure that Nigeria gets poorer as they do (1) above.

Such acts should be considered graver than the treason charges on Henry Okah. These are acts that should be taken with serious concern. Financial crime institutions should be biting at this with a great zeal. Some people don't just want to make their gains at the expense of Nigeria. The leeches wan't to suck the whole Nigerian blood with the aim of killing the unperturbed dog.
President Yardy correctly refused to grant approval for the production and shipment of Liquefied Natural Gas.

The true Patriot
Basil Omiyi, Shell's first Nigerian MD, was quoted "government should learn how to respect long term agreements, irrespective of the personality who signed them".
Reality check
Is Basil Efoise Omiyi a Nigerian? Yes.
Is He from Niger-Delta? Yes.
Does he live in Nigeria? Are his father, mother, children, brothers, sisters, cousins and friends Nigerians? Hell Yes!!

What his statement above means is that as the MD of SPDC he was aware of the project details and did not have any milk of Nigerian kindness flowing in him. He did not see anything wrong with the company he works for milking his nation dry as long as he earns his daily bread. Being a christian, his bible correctly has the book of Matthew in it, whose verse 11 of chapter 6 states that 'Give us this day our daily bread'. It is but strange, and should be concluded that verse 13 is missing from the chapter. What version of the bible does he read? King Shell Version (KSV)?
Na person papa be this ooo.

I want to believe that militants do not read papers. They do not have a direct understansing of who their enemies are. They are like the son who gave his mother poison to eat because he believes that she is the author of his bad luck.

Collage of Short Stories

The Hungry Restauranteur
I made a very strange discovery on Thursday while I was on leave. Absence from work availed me the opportunity of roaming Lagos and enjoying the hustle, bustle and, in some parts calm scenery.
When I got to Alausa, close to the governor's office, I couldn't believe what I saw. People always can figure out the excuse of firemen when there's a fire disaster. They always complain that they don't have water. Situated side-by-side to each other, Lagos State Fire Service & Lagos State Water Corporation are seperated by a fence.
This really got me puzzled, 'cos I don't understand how a fire service can claim that it doesn't have water when its next-door neighbour is the water corporation. Abracadabra?

The Fish in care of the Cat
There's news that the Federal Government of Nigeria will employ brigands to look after oil investments in the Niger-Delta. Minister Yayale Ahmed must have a good reason to suggest this, or else they don't really know the implication of doing this. What if the money paid those "freedom fighters" isn't enough for them later on? Then they'll start kidnapping and blowing places up right?
Nowhere in the world have I ever seen the fish placed in care of the cat.

Ijegun blast
When I heard that a pipeline exploded, I thought people had vandalised pipelines yet again. It irked my spirit more to hear that innocent souls had died due to negligence and lack of record keeping on the part of the government and companies given contracts. How on earth can you construct a road right where petrol pipeline is? Is there no record anywhere that there is a pipeline around that place? What is Lagos State Ministry of Environment and Physical Planning doing?
Once again, more than 100 lives were lost due to some people's negligence and inefficiency. Don't people know that their actions/inactions sometimes can cost innocent people their lives.

The President's Daughter
I stumbled on her profile on Wiki. I was surprised to see that she specialized on Epidemiology at the Doctorate level. This got me thinking. But epidemiology is the scientific and medical study of the causes and transmission of disease within a population. Then why did she embezzle money meant to halt transmission of disease? Abi she studied epidemiology to know how to increase the spread of the disease? I hope she doesn't spread it in Maitama Police cell.