Tales by Firelight

I've given a stern instruction that under no circumstance should anyone wake me while sleeping.
In fact, two of my friends came to fraternize with me yesterday evening. I pulled a bold face at my sister who came to wake me. Her reason for waking me ,"they wouldn't leave when told you were asleep".
I didn't need anyone to wake me when I drifted from sleep to consciousness to hear screaming sounds of people humming, as if round my bed. I had to rise when the noise was too much.
Time check - 1:00 AM. Going outside my house, I discovered that the noise was not from around my bedspace as I had earlier thought, but from the main road.
Still in the mode between drunken-like slumber and full-awakening, I was wondering why for Pete's sake people would be howling so much to disturb other people's sleep. Some neighbours can be loudly loquacious.

But as I gradually drifted into full consciousness, I noticed a bright light glowing. There and
then it occurred to me that it could be calamity that was making people howl and shout on the road at such an ungoldy hour. Everybody was staring at the bright light. I looked up and saw a great conflagration happily envelope a two-storey building four houses away.
Reality check - the house was one of the few houses in the vicinity that can be comfortably termed civilian barracks. The inhabitants of the house should be roughly about 75, not counting those who rented the 3 shops infront.


"Fire!! Fire!!! ", people were shouting. At least I had seen the cause of the noise. I then picked my phone to call the emergency service number Lagos State government provided. I fumbled with the phone and realised I cldn't just remember it. I knew it's a 3 digit number, but I cldn't figure out what it was. After asking a few ppl around who seemed to be too engrossed in scampering, howling about or watching the burning flame like an Indian movie.
I decided to call Glo customer Service.
The outcome was not palatable:
First I had to wait for over 10 mins before a customer care rep would attend to me. The pre-recorded voice kept reminding me that my call was important to them. Glo wished me Happy Easter 40 days after Easter had passed!!
Finally after 13 mins (which was enough to pull down the whole house), a male voice vibrated from the other side. I promptly told him my name and the area I was calling from. I asked for the emergency number for the fire service. He asked me to please hold.
After 2 mins, the voice came online and asked if I wanted the number for making free calls. I went ballistic. I wonder the kind of personnel these
telephone companies employ. I'm sure they are poorly trained if Glo even attempted to train them.
With a salary of over 200,000 a month, you are expected to buy yourself
a tested and working brain at Oyingbo market. Imagine people's labour and hard-work were going up in flames and this young voice had the effrontery to exhibit amnesia.
After some harsh words which I seldom issue, he asked that I please hold.
When I heard a voice, I was very glad it wasn't that of the guy suffering from amnesia. The lady
said they were trying to contact the fire service without any success. She said she would continue trying their number. I thanked her and was about to end the call when I realised that in all that ensued they had not asked about the address of the place burning.
"Oh, what is the address", said the irksome male voice again. I knew it was bad luck to have heard the guys voice again. I agreed with all their watery assurances in order to end the fruitless call and do something useful with the time.
It took the first firetruck 25 mins after I had woken up to arrive.The amount of water that came from the hose was not up to 25 litres. They said they didn't have enough water.


Another 2 firetrucks and water still didn't come out from any hose. It took 20 mins of senseless merry-go-round activities, water finally came out like a child's pee from the hose.
Anyway, the only thing the firemen could do was to prevent the fire which had already razed the 2-storey building and a carpentry shop (whose wood and sawn dust served as fuel) was to prevent it from spreading to other houses. The 2 buildings however were successfully engulfed.

Appreciation
I want to use this medium to thank the dumb customer-service guys at Glo and the waterless fire service for their efforts at ensuring a successful raze of people's fortunes and years of hard labour. May God reward you.
To the State Governor and the Federal Ministry in charge of Fire services, money spent on fire services don't amount to anything if houses get burnt without repression.
To those diverting funds meant for emergency services, get ready to spend those monies on emergencies in your household. May God reward you for the stolen funds abundantly. Eni bimo oran, oran la a ko o.
To those who fold their arms and see funds being misappropriated right under their noses, remember Prof. Adenike Grange. Oye to kan ara Iwo ni, o n bo wa kan ara Ede.