People listen to music for so many reasons. Many for the unending love of it. Some for therapeutic reasons (not like King Saul in the bible) to ease the stress around. However it is, there's one sure fact about music - it places you on a plateau that gives room for relaxation and creates an easier approach to addressing issues especially that which affects a core part of human existence.
The latest album of the self-proclaimed Naija Ninja, Sound sultan, is one I've been looking out for. Though the number of tracks in The (compulsory) textbook is great, I fel in love with two tracks only - Area & Back in the days.
This track playing (Area) encourages those who have gone far and wide in search of greener pastures to please come back home if the situation has turned worse.
So my people, come back home if things are very bad. It's not that bad at home oh!
Ajo 'o dabi ile (meaning There's no place like home).
I also discovered that dearest Tracy Chapman released a new album (Where you live) late last year.
Now where the Alaba boys at? It's like they haven't heard that she's dropped one.
Or could you lend me a copy of Where you live? I just wanna listen to it once, dat's all.
P.S At no point should you try to open his website.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Oh Barc'a!
Phew!!
I told a few of my colleagues yesterday that I had a dream overnight that Barc'a beat Arsenal. They flared at me.
I'm patiently waiting for them this morning to see their reactions.
There you go Ronnie. You're the greatest.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Basket mouth
The late Dele Giwa, a prominent journalist, was a real one. He would be there to confront anything he deemed unfit head-on and even face-long. He dared not what anyone would do to him. He was later handed a parcel-bomb during the Babangida era which he personally took pains to open.
M.K.O Abiola was determined to become the president at all cost. If it were for him to declare the works of the presidency during that time evil, he did not care. He was tenacious about telling people his views about the situation of things. His incarceration later lead to his death which he picked up from the teacup.
Dr. Tai Solarin (of blessed memory) was more explicit about things he never loved. He brazingly castigated regimes when he felt their actions were bad. His package was frequent visits to the prison. He even had a prison bag which he always kept in his room. He would pick it up each time it was time to go on holidays (all expense paid by the military regime of Nigeria).
Nelson Mandela spent many useful years of his life behind bars because he could not just live with the fact that he would have to keep quiet and simply do nothing to what he saw around him.
Ken Saro-Wiwa was not even given a chance to repent of his words and actions before he was executed by the Abacha regime.
Silvio Berlusconi of Italy would have won the last polls if not that he was too outspoken and did not think that there some things should or shouldn't be said. He said the Chinese (the main backers of his rival) used to boil & eat babies. He goes down as one of the greatest people with basket mouth tendencies.
The show of disgust and dislike or love for a particular thing could incur the wrath of those who are ardent supporters of it. I mean to say that being an antagonist or protagonist is a big deal. You're gonna have to deal with everyone who is passionately against your views. God help you if you don't have the capacity to withstand the barrage.
Chief Festus Odimegwu, who happens to be the MD of Nigeria Breweries PLC and a board member of the highly revered Transnational Corporation of Nigeria Plc (Transcorp) has just steered the hornet's nest by saying that he fully backs and infact will die for a third term for the president of Nigeria. His stance reminds one of someone who broke a wasp's mudhouse. Now the wasps have come out in their dozens. The remaining board members have decided that he should step down because of his utterances. He hadn't even talked when people had started saying that Transcorp was institutionalised by the President to fund his third term ambition. He nailed their coffin by his utterances. The board of directors, wary of being pointed out as a machinery of third term has decided to do away with him.
Many say he's expressing his views and should be left alone. I ask when politics and professionalism had a common room which they share. When did seasoned businesspeople become mouthpieces and towncriers for political programmes. Great wonders Obasanjo has a stronghold on many people, wielding them to sing as he pinches them.
Now shareholders of Nigeria Breweries have decided to dump their investments and people have said they would no more drink his beer (I wonder how that's possible) if he continues to take that stand.
Why is it that politics spreads deep into every part of the Nigerian life. Can't this businessman just continue making his money by facing the business before him? Is it necessary for the industrialists to also join in the puppet game? Even if you are a supporter, who asked to know of your opinion?
There's always a reward for being a basket mouth. Silvio will teach you from experience.
I'm definite that he has a price to pay for his open die-hard embrace of the devilish program. We shall no more drink Star, Gulder, Legend or any form of Odekumicine. Shikena!
Please my people co-operate & stop drinking beer.
M.K.O Abiola was determined to become the president at all cost. If it were for him to declare the works of the presidency during that time evil, he did not care. He was tenacious about telling people his views about the situation of things. His incarceration later lead to his death which he picked up from the teacup.
Dr. Tai Solarin (of blessed memory) was more explicit about things he never loved. He brazingly castigated regimes when he felt their actions were bad. His package was frequent visits to the prison. He even had a prison bag which he always kept in his room. He would pick it up each time it was time to go on holidays (all expense paid by the military regime of Nigeria).
Nelson Mandela spent many useful years of his life behind bars because he could not just live with the fact that he would have to keep quiet and simply do nothing to what he saw around him.
Ken Saro-Wiwa was not even given a chance to repent of his words and actions before he was executed by the Abacha regime.
Silvio Berlusconi of Italy would have won the last polls if not that he was too outspoken and did not think that there some things should or shouldn't be said. He said the Chinese (the main backers of his rival) used to boil & eat babies. He goes down as one of the greatest people with basket mouth tendencies.
The show of disgust and dislike or love for a particular thing could incur the wrath of those who are ardent supporters of it. I mean to say that being an antagonist or protagonist is a big deal. You're gonna have to deal with everyone who is passionately against your views. God help you if you don't have the capacity to withstand the barrage.
Chief Festus Odimegwu, who happens to be the MD of Nigeria Breweries PLC and a board member of the highly revered Transnational Corporation of Nigeria Plc (Transcorp) has just steered the hornet's nest by saying that he fully backs and infact will die for a third term for the president of Nigeria. His stance reminds one of someone who broke a wasp's mudhouse. Now the wasps have come out in their dozens. The remaining board members have decided that he should step down because of his utterances. He hadn't even talked when people had started saying that Transcorp was institutionalised by the President to fund his third term ambition. He nailed their coffin by his utterances. The board of directors, wary of being pointed out as a machinery of third term has decided to do away with him.
Many say he's expressing his views and should be left alone. I ask when politics and professionalism had a common room which they share. When did seasoned businesspeople become mouthpieces and towncriers for political programmes. Great wonders Obasanjo has a stronghold on many people, wielding them to sing as he pinches them.
Now shareholders of Nigeria Breweries have decided to dump their investments and people have said they would no more drink his beer (I wonder how that's possible) if he continues to take that stand.
Why is it that politics spreads deep into every part of the Nigerian life. Can't this businessman just continue making his money by facing the business before him? Is it necessary for the industrialists to also join in the puppet game? Even if you are a supporter, who asked to know of your opinion?
There's always a reward for being a basket mouth. Silvio will teach you from experience.
I'm definite that he has a price to pay for his open die-hard embrace of the devilish program. We shall no more drink Star, Gulder, Legend or any form of Odekumicine. Shikena!
Please my people co-operate & stop drinking beer.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Lingua Franca
A 30-mins watch of the news will tell you how hard the people are trying to learn another man's language. Passers-by when interviewed show that it aint easy to include the much-adored good spoken English in their list of priorities after the search for food to fill their bellies and shelter over their heads. You see very elderly people (who should have comprehended how to master it a long time ago) code-mixing & code-switching between English and their native tongues.
Signposts and sticker comments on buses like the one in the picture above show that the people are really struggling to speak English. Abi what is the native spelling for 'Such is life'? The answer is ' Curch is life". Some say the energy spent on mastering English is huge enough to make a visible impact on other fields like Engineering, Medicine et al.
Funniest thing is if you make the mistake of making a grammatical blunder (not speak English correctly), you will be the object of scorn and ridicule for as long as the memory of people who heard your blunder lasts.
Then go to other countries and see that what we all carry in our heads to be the language of the intellectuals is not a criteria for achieving astounding feats in fields of endeavour. Or how do you explain the fact that a german Professor who has gotten to great heights in research cannot speak English? How does he teach & learn from science? It's definitely through his native tongue.
That's why the Chinese President would not directly speak English even if he can. He would rather do it through an interpreter. Even if people like these force themselves to speak English, they do not bother if their English is of the most impeccable standard. No one boos them for not speaking it correctly. This can't be done over here oh! It's the dailies that will floor whoever the person is and tell him to go back to school to learn English.
Just imagine if President Obasanjo wakes up tomorrow and he addresses the nation in pidgin English understood by everybody in the nation. Una go laugh am to scorn abi? You will ask 'who gave him the pamison to speak pijin?'.But is it that bad to find other ways of expressing themselves.
As Lagbaja said, 'if I fire & you dodge I don't care".
Monday, April 10, 2006
Even Bill Gates can't afford this
Man Gets $218 Trillion Phone Bill
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A Malaysian man said he nearly fainted when he recieved a $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution, a newspaper reported Monday.
Yahaya Wahab said he disconnected his late father's phone line in January after he died and settled the 84 ringgit ($23) bill, the New Straits Times reported.
But Telekom Malaysia later sent him a 806,400,000,000,000.01 ringgit ($218 trillion) bill for recent telephone calls along with orders to settle within 10 days or face legal proceedings, the newspaper reported.
It wasn't clear whether the bill was a mistake, or if Yahaya's father's phone line was used illegally after after his death.
"If the company wants to seek legal action as mentioned in the letter, I'm ready to face it," the paper quoted Yahaya as saying. "In fact, I can't wait to face it," he said.
Yahaya, from northern Kedah state, received a notice from the company's debt-collection agency in early April, the paper said. Yahaya said he nearly fainted when he saw the new bill.
Government-linked Telekom Malaysia Bhd. is the country's largest telecommunications company.
A company official, who declined to be identified as she was not authorized to speak to the media, said Telekom Malaysia was aware of Yahaya's case and would address it. She did not provide further details.
So you mean 'Crazy bills' aren't confined to Nigerian soil?
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A Malaysian man said he nearly fainted when he recieved a $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution, a newspaper reported Monday.
Yahaya Wahab said he disconnected his late father's phone line in January after he died and settled the 84 ringgit ($23) bill, the New Straits Times reported.
But Telekom Malaysia later sent him a 806,400,000,000,000.01 ringgit ($218 trillion) bill for recent telephone calls along with orders to settle within 10 days or face legal proceedings, the newspaper reported.
It wasn't clear whether the bill was a mistake, or if Yahaya's father's phone line was used illegally after after his death.
"If the company wants to seek legal action as mentioned in the letter, I'm ready to face it," the paper quoted Yahaya as saying. "In fact, I can't wait to face it," he said.
Yahaya, from northern Kedah state, received a notice from the company's debt-collection agency in early April, the paper said. Yahaya said he nearly fainted when he saw the new bill.
Government-linked Telekom Malaysia Bhd. is the country's largest telecommunications company.
A company official, who declined to be identified as she was not authorized to speak to the media, said Telekom Malaysia was aware of Yahaya's case and would address it. She did not provide further details.
So you mean 'Crazy bills' aren't confined to Nigerian soil?
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Royal rumble
It's stale news that the President of my country is at loggerheads with his deputy.
This imbroglio is heating up and as journalists have said, 'body bags count will start'.
I don't see any strange thing in this struggle because these two people are from different worlds, only brought together by similar desires - the quest for power. So it's bound to happen. But as Pirelli will put it, 'Power is nothing without control'. Some have asked Mr. Atiku to stepdown. I laugh at them. It's as if people don't know what these people are at loggerheads for.Is it not this same power that Atiku wants more of? How do you expect him to drop the one he has when he wants more. If permitted, these people will die there. So I won't be surprised if Mr. COJA(won ti kowo wa ja - according to Eedris) refuses to step down.Deep down within me, I know Mr. Obasanjo will go by 2007, the only thing there is that he wants to scare away some greedy people from ascending the throne.Only one song do I have for Baba Iyabo;Be careful, 'cos this life is full of sorrowsWatch the company you keep and the friends you followbecause ****talking gibberish****Eni to mo eniyan lo n pa eniyanNothing stays the same,As you lay your bed, na so you go lie on top am.
Don't mind Audu Ogbe & Atiku.
If na only one, no be three say I
No go fit stand alone na lie......Iro ma ni won n pa.
Tell them that you can do it all alone............to Ota farm though :D
*******Sorry I didn't get a picture of two white sheep but black ones, I could only lay my hand on this one.****
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Dumb and dumberer
It's been a while that I heard very funny remarks and I became stupefied when I heard some recently.For someone to be appointed as the Deputy President of a country, it must have been confirmed that he is sound both physically and mentally. His IQ rating would have been confirmed high enough for him to occupy the revered position.It's not news that people who aspire for such posts are astute men of great wisdom and integrity, who are knowledgeable about many things,especially the ones that affect people's lives.I therefore became flabbergasted when I heard that to prevent infection after he knowingly slept with (not raped) an infected lady, he simply went to the bathroom. In his words, " I took a shower to reduce the risk of infection after unprotected sex with an HIV-positive woman".What in the world was he thinking? That the AIDS virus is like filth which caan be washed off?! C'mon!Haba! I know without any element of doubt that Mr Jacob Zuma is much smarter.Could it be that the shame of impeachment steals composure and understanding from a man?And to even think that he was once considered to be a favourite for the President of South Africa after Thabo Mbeki is stupefying.
And nothing worries more than the thought that a journalist who works for an astounding media house like BBC who cannot simply relay someone's words to the whole world without manufacturing insinuations.As much as I am against third term, I did not see anything that looked like Mr Fani-Kayode saying that the president will run for third term. "What he [Mr Obasanjo] said is that God is not a God of abandoned projects. What he was referring to are the economic policies of this nation. What he's referring to are the economic reform programmes that this administration has set in place," the presidential spokesman explained.
"It does not necessarily mean that that means that God is going to use him in the future." Abi how does that correlate with "Nigeria's president will consider his options to stand for a third term, guided by God and other considerations, his spokesman says" tori olorun?!
Please report what you hear and not what you think.
The saying is true that the world apppears yellow to a man with yellow fever.
It's a funny world you know.
And nothing worries more than the thought that a journalist who works for an astounding media house like BBC who cannot simply relay someone's words to the whole world without manufacturing insinuations.As much as I am against third term, I did not see anything that looked like Mr Fani-Kayode saying that the president will run for third term. "What he [Mr Obasanjo] said is that God is not a God of abandoned projects. What he was referring to are the economic policies of this nation. What he's referring to are the economic reform programmes that this administration has set in place," the presidential spokesman explained.
"It does not necessarily mean that that means that God is going to use him in the future." Abi how does that correlate with "Nigeria's president will consider his options to stand for a third term, guided by God and other considerations, his spokesman says" tori olorun?!
Please report what you hear and not what you think.
The saying is true that the world apppears yellow to a man with yellow fever.
It's a funny world you know.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Legalizing graft - It's cool to take bribes
I don't believe this!
LAGOS, Nigeria (Reuters) -- Football referees in Nigeria can take bribes from clubs but should not allow them to influence their decisions on the pitch, a football official said on Friday.
Fanny Amun, acting Secretary-General of the Nigerian Football Association, said bribery was common in the Nigerian game.
"We know match officials are offered money or anything to influence matches and they can accept it," Amun told Reuters on Friday.
Amun first made the statement earlier in the week to a football -- or soccer -- seminar in the capital Abuja, prompting protests from other officials.
"Referees should only pretend to fall for the bait, but make sure the result doesn't favor those offering the bribe," Amun said.
At the seminar, Nigerian football league chairman Oyuiki Obaseki reprimanded referees for poor quality match reports, saying that bribery was to blame.
"The quality of your reports have not done our league any good, so please desist from corrupt practices," he told delegates..
Is it that bad? Na wa oh!
LAGOS, Nigeria (Reuters) -- Football referees in Nigeria can take bribes from clubs but should not allow them to influence their decisions on the pitch, a football official said on Friday.
Fanny Amun, acting Secretary-General of the Nigerian Football Association, said bribery was common in the Nigerian game.
"We know match officials are offered money or anything to influence matches and they can accept it," Amun told Reuters on Friday.
Amun first made the statement earlier in the week to a football -- or soccer -- seminar in the capital Abuja, prompting protests from other officials.
"Referees should only pretend to fall for the bait, but make sure the result doesn't favor those offering the bribe," Amun said.
At the seminar, Nigerian football league chairman Oyuiki Obaseki reprimanded referees for poor quality match reports, saying that bribery was to blame.
"The quality of your reports have not done our league any good, so please desist from corrupt practices," he told delegates..
Is it that bad? Na wa oh!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Tag-de-blogville
I was tagged by Exschoolnerd.
Rules of the Game:
1. The tagged victim must come up with 10 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention gender of target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged again, there's no need to post a 2nd time.
My perfect lover:
1. Smart: She must be smart and quick-witted. Able to solve many problems without waiting for daddy to come home. It's like blondes are not accepted here, not even with their credit cards.
2. Slim: She must not be anywhere close to being fat.
3. Adorable : Her looks must be breath-taking. Her charisma must be cutting edge.
4. Peppered : Not peppered as in hot, but she must carry well well!. Her pocket must be heavy, not with coins but with gold or even platinum. :D
5. Understanding : In fact, this should have taken the first position.
6. Sexy: Well....you should understand.
7. Educated: Coupled with being smart, she must be well educated.
8. Affable : She must be friendly and people oriented. She mustn't be tribalistic or someone who downgrades people.
9. Decipherable : She must come with a software that can decipher women's thinking and decode her scrambled mind. You know how they are, you just need the right software to make their operating systems stable.
10. God-chosen: One thing that overwrites all others is the biological interconnectivity between somee lovers. It's something that brings beauty and the beast together. Something that makes lovers from very different backgrounds fuse like bread n cheese. She must be God-sent. Just the right person.
Now to the most difficult part - who to tag. Most of the people I tag are too serious for 'this kind thing'. They are being paid (or paying) for every keystroke on blogville, so they prefer to be too serious about many things.
Well sha, I'll try my best - nyjaguy, grandiose parlor, olawunmi, boggywoggy & Emmanuel. There you go.
Rules of the Game:
1. The tagged victim must come up with 10 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention gender of target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged again, there's no need to post a 2nd time.
My perfect lover:
1. Smart: She must be smart and quick-witted. Able to solve many problems without waiting for daddy to come home. It's like blondes are not accepted here, not even with their credit cards.
2. Slim: She must not be anywhere close to being fat.
3. Adorable : Her looks must be breath-taking. Her charisma must be cutting edge.
4. Peppered : Not peppered as in hot, but she must carry well well!. Her pocket must be heavy, not with coins but with gold or even platinum. :D
5. Understanding : In fact, this should have taken the first position.
6. Sexy: Well....you should understand.
7. Educated: Coupled with being smart, she must be well educated.
8. Affable : She must be friendly and people oriented. She mustn't be tribalistic or someone who downgrades people.
9. Decipherable : She must come with a software that can decipher women's thinking and decode her scrambled mind. You know how they are, you just need the right software to make their operating systems stable.
10. God-chosen: One thing that overwrites all others is the biological interconnectivity between somee lovers. It's something that brings beauty and the beast together. Something that makes lovers from very different backgrounds fuse like bread n cheese. She must be God-sent. Just the right person.
Now to the most difficult part - who to tag. Most of the people I tag are too serious for 'this kind thing'. They are being paid (or paying) for every keystroke on blogville, so they prefer to be too serious about many things.
Well sha, I'll try my best - nyjaguy, grandiose parlor, olawunmi, boggywoggy & Emmanuel. There you go.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Lalupon's words
The events (census which entailed God-given holidays) his past week has made me understand how it really feels to be jobless. You come outside on the streets in some areas & see well able-bodied, half-naked men who didn't mind the terrain of the road/estate field, sweating it out big time!
Suddenly, my creative ability came into being and I put this story together...though some parts of it are true. Enjoy!
Oh, see my life!
I should have listened to Lalupon.
Now I am doomed. ……..
I connected the laptop to power supply in order to charge its battery while I read. As I opened the laptop to log on, I felt a great sensation down in my bowels. It was as if the volcano wanted to erupt again. I fought hard, telling myself that it was just an imagination my mind created so as not to read. My assertion was cut short by the movement of magma again.
‘Alas, I told you’, said my lazy mind.
‘Shut up’, I retorted. The volcano sure was going to be a big one. I realized I had to do something quick. Trying to open a map in my head, I began locating the closest toilets to where I was. Mechanical Engineering department toilet is one of the worst toilets I’ve come across in my life. It’s even worse than those in the villages which bowls turned face down to cover the black hole. Though the departmental toilet is a modern day one (boasting of water closet) compared to the pit-latrine, students usually swore that they preferred a latrine to the infamous ‘chemistry lab’ which it was christened because of the stench of various chemical compounds which oozed from it. You could perceive the smell from within 20-meter radius.
I decided that nothing ever would make me use that toilet in my life. As if the volcano heard my decision, the magma started moving uneasily. They say when panic emerges, orderliness and reasoning evaporates. My brain needed not tell my legs where to. It had started finding its way. I met the shock of my life when I got to the door and met a huge (and I really mean huge) padlock at the door. I was transfixed for what seemed like ten minutes. Suddenly realizing what was happening, I held my butts to find the opening so I could use my fingers as a cork to cover the lid, preventing the content from spilling. Simultaneously, I was pacing fast towards the next destination.
‘Jawejura!’, my mind commanded.
I immediately set for the woods. Since the institution was on vacation, the likelihood that all restrooms within the vicinity would be locked was very high. It didn’t take me two seconds to calculate that. I moved like a horse-cart carrying heavy load on a rough surface.
Walking down the road, I listened patiently for passers by or people working in the bush like a hunter waiting to hear the sound of his prey. I heard some rustling sound towards my right. A young squirrel ran playfully on a fallen tree. ‘Now is not the time for you’, I said. I had other pressing issues to attend to. In a normal situation when I don’t have another mission in the woods, five minutes would be the maximum time for chasing the squirrel. In ten minutes, it would have become peppered barbeque. A satisfying meal it would be with akamu or garri. But my mind wouldn’t let me think of that right now. It was my master, and I was compelled to do exactly as it had commanded me.
Convinced that there’s no one around, I branched into the next footpath. And then into another after it.
‘This is a safe ground’, said the master, my mind.
No, Lalupon had told me that it was dangerous resting in the cassava farm of Ogogoro Frank, who earned his name from his look. He pretty much looked like Dr. Frankinstine. And 24/7, he was always reeking of Ogogoro, the local ethanol brand.
Ogogoro Frank up till today is the most feared peasant farmer who has his plot right at the border of the school. Once a student was rushed to the dreaded ‘Death Centre’ (an adaptation of its real name – Health Centre), shouting that it was as if hot charcoal was placed on his anus. He spent five days there. He had gone to rest in the feared man’s cassava farm and escaped uncaught. Legend has it that Ogogoro Frank after warning students not to pass faeces on his farm again decided to use deadly charms on the excreta. Some said he used alligator pepper he had chanted incantations on to spray the faeces. The impact would be supersonic, using microwave transmission to get to the recipient. It would be fire down below for the poor student.
I was always cynical about juju and other native medicines. There was always an over-hype in the talk of the efficacy of juju, so I decided it was just the thinking of people.
Many students shared the same idea with me.
‘Juju no dey catch students’ (meaning juju/charm doesn’t have effect on students) was our slogan then. Lalupon, my good friend would tell me to exercise restraint in doing things and not to downplay the efficacy of Juju. I would repeat the slogan to his face. My conviction about it was rock-solid. Little did I know that the fate of my conviction would be as that of Titanic – the greater the size, the greater the fall.
Taking a survey of the environment again, I bent down to do what I came for. I made sure my eyes were fixed on the coming footpath, so that my case won’t be like that of the boy who was being chased by Ogogoro Frank with his trousers at his knees. By the time he noticed him, there was no time to pull his trousers back up. He was only lucky that Dr. Frankestein was too drunk to maintain his balance in the hot pursuit.
I set myself free immediately. The peace & tranquility that came to my being was unprecedented. As I tried to rise up to wear my trousers, I felt something strange in my torso. I told myself that my mind was playing games on me again. Remember, juju no dey catch student. I neatly buckled the trouser and placed the belt well. No one was going to know that this handsome, well dressed young man went to bo kaka a while ago. The deed was done. I was successful in this ordeal.
I then tried raising my feet to move. It was as if my shoes had been glued to the soil. Ah!
I looked at my feet and discovered that there was nothing wrong with them. Trying again, I couldn’t even raise it half an inch.
Mba! This can’t be happening. My mind flashed straight to Ogogoro Frank. But…..but he hasn’t even seen the faeces, not to talk of pouring his magic pepper on it. What was happening?!
Then like a flash, I remembered that students had strangely (don’t ask me how) gotten the antidote to Dr. Frankestein’s charm. It was tested and confirmed working. It was said that if salt was poured on your remains after excreting, no matter the quantity of pepper Ogogoro Frank pours on it, it wouldn’t have any effect. This had given students the boldness to continue using his farm.
Ah! I hope it’s not what I think oh. Abi Ogogoro Frank has devised another means of dealing with students? And I am the first victim of his new invention? But why must it be me? Out of the scores of guys that visit Ogogoro’s office regularly, am I the one that will be caught pants down?!
Chai! I am doomed.
……….To be continued.
Suddenly, my creative ability came into being and I put this story together...though some parts of it are true. Enjoy!
Oh, see my life!
I should have listened to Lalupon.
Now I am doomed. ……..
I connected the laptop to power supply in order to charge its battery while I read. As I opened the laptop to log on, I felt a great sensation down in my bowels. It was as if the volcano wanted to erupt again. I fought hard, telling myself that it was just an imagination my mind created so as not to read. My assertion was cut short by the movement of magma again.
‘Alas, I told you’, said my lazy mind.
‘Shut up’, I retorted. The volcano sure was going to be a big one. I realized I had to do something quick. Trying to open a map in my head, I began locating the closest toilets to where I was. Mechanical Engineering department toilet is one of the worst toilets I’ve come across in my life. It’s even worse than those in the villages which bowls turned face down to cover the black hole. Though the departmental toilet is a modern day one (boasting of water closet) compared to the pit-latrine, students usually swore that they preferred a latrine to the infamous ‘chemistry lab’ which it was christened because of the stench of various chemical compounds which oozed from it. You could perceive the smell from within 20-meter radius.
I decided that nothing ever would make me use that toilet in my life. As if the volcano heard my decision, the magma started moving uneasily. They say when panic emerges, orderliness and reasoning evaporates. My brain needed not tell my legs where to. It had started finding its way. I met the shock of my life when I got to the door and met a huge (and I really mean huge) padlock at the door. I was transfixed for what seemed like ten minutes. Suddenly realizing what was happening, I held my butts to find the opening so I could use my fingers as a cork to cover the lid, preventing the content from spilling. Simultaneously, I was pacing fast towards the next destination.
‘Jawejura!’, my mind commanded.
I immediately set for the woods. Since the institution was on vacation, the likelihood that all restrooms within the vicinity would be locked was very high. It didn’t take me two seconds to calculate that. I moved like a horse-cart carrying heavy load on a rough surface.
Walking down the road, I listened patiently for passers by or people working in the bush like a hunter waiting to hear the sound of his prey. I heard some rustling sound towards my right. A young squirrel ran playfully on a fallen tree. ‘Now is not the time for you’, I said. I had other pressing issues to attend to. In a normal situation when I don’t have another mission in the woods, five minutes would be the maximum time for chasing the squirrel. In ten minutes, it would have become peppered barbeque. A satisfying meal it would be with akamu or garri. But my mind wouldn’t let me think of that right now. It was my master, and I was compelled to do exactly as it had commanded me.
Convinced that there’s no one around, I branched into the next footpath. And then into another after it.
‘This is a safe ground’, said the master, my mind.
No, Lalupon had told me that it was dangerous resting in the cassava farm of Ogogoro Frank, who earned his name from his look. He pretty much looked like Dr. Frankinstine. And 24/7, he was always reeking of Ogogoro, the local ethanol brand.
Ogogoro Frank up till today is the most feared peasant farmer who has his plot right at the border of the school. Once a student was rushed to the dreaded ‘Death Centre’ (an adaptation of its real name – Health Centre), shouting that it was as if hot charcoal was placed on his anus. He spent five days there. He had gone to rest in the feared man’s cassava farm and escaped uncaught. Legend has it that Ogogoro Frank after warning students not to pass faeces on his farm again decided to use deadly charms on the excreta. Some said he used alligator pepper he had chanted incantations on to spray the faeces. The impact would be supersonic, using microwave transmission to get to the recipient. It would be fire down below for the poor student.
I was always cynical about juju and other native medicines. There was always an over-hype in the talk of the efficacy of juju, so I decided it was just the thinking of people.
Many students shared the same idea with me.
‘Juju no dey catch students’ (meaning juju/charm doesn’t have effect on students) was our slogan then. Lalupon, my good friend would tell me to exercise restraint in doing things and not to downplay the efficacy of Juju. I would repeat the slogan to his face. My conviction about it was rock-solid. Little did I know that the fate of my conviction would be as that of Titanic – the greater the size, the greater the fall.
Taking a survey of the environment again, I bent down to do what I came for. I made sure my eyes were fixed on the coming footpath, so that my case won’t be like that of the boy who was being chased by Ogogoro Frank with his trousers at his knees. By the time he noticed him, there was no time to pull his trousers back up. He was only lucky that Dr. Frankestein was too drunk to maintain his balance in the hot pursuit.
I set myself free immediately. The peace & tranquility that came to my being was unprecedented. As I tried to rise up to wear my trousers, I felt something strange in my torso. I told myself that my mind was playing games on me again. Remember, juju no dey catch student. I neatly buckled the trouser and placed the belt well. No one was going to know that this handsome, well dressed young man went to bo kaka a while ago. The deed was done. I was successful in this ordeal.
I then tried raising my feet to move. It was as if my shoes had been glued to the soil. Ah!
I looked at my feet and discovered that there was nothing wrong with them. Trying again, I couldn’t even raise it half an inch.
Mba! This can’t be happening. My mind flashed straight to Ogogoro Frank. But…..but he hasn’t even seen the faeces, not to talk of pouring his magic pepper on it. What was happening?!
Then like a flash, I remembered that students had strangely (don’t ask me how) gotten the antidote to Dr. Frankestein’s charm. It was tested and confirmed working. It was said that if salt was poured on your remains after excreting, no matter the quantity of pepper Ogogoro Frank pours on it, it wouldn’t have any effect. This had given students the boldness to continue using his farm.
Ah! I hope it’s not what I think oh. Abi Ogogoro Frank has devised another means of dealing with students? And I am the first victim of his new invention? But why must it be me? Out of the scores of guys that visit Ogogoro’s office regularly, am I the one that will be caught pants down?!
Chai! I am doomed.
……….To be continued.
Friday, March 17, 2006
When Juju fails
Does it not sound funny that a man as strong as Chief Frederick Fasheun slumped in court.
I'll start with an intro. Chief Frederick Fasheun is the factional leader of the greatly feared militant yoruba group called Oodua people's Congress (OPC). It can be compared with the Irish Republican Army (IRA), Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), MASSOB et al.This group ruled with a menacing force that leaves sorrow, tears and blood . Guns, machetes, strong charms et al were their instruments.
You mean with all his charms and fortifications (mostly called Bendel Insurance), he could afford to show weakness by slumping in the court?! Fasheun must have met a force more fierce and brutal than his. This force is known as the force of the law.One strange thing is that he's acting the same script that Tafa Balogun acted some months ago. Tafa also slumped, an act to make people feel that his state of health was bad.
And with all the Bendel insurance, he can't even stand tall and be a strong man. Ain't it a shame? Juju no dey work again?
It reminds me of the music of Kenny Rogers - You can't outrun the long arm of the law.
I'll start with an intro. Chief Frederick Fasheun is the factional leader of the greatly feared militant yoruba group called Oodua people's Congress (OPC). It can be compared with the Irish Republican Army (IRA), Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), MASSOB et al.This group ruled with a menacing force that leaves sorrow, tears and blood . Guns, machetes, strong charms et al were their instruments.
You mean with all his charms and fortifications (mostly called Bendel Insurance), he could afford to show weakness by slumping in the court?! Fasheun must have met a force more fierce and brutal than his. This force is known as the force of the law.One strange thing is that he's acting the same script that Tafa Balogun acted some months ago. Tafa also slumped, an act to make people feel that his state of health was bad.
And with all the Bendel insurance, he can't even stand tall and be a strong man. Ain't it a shame? Juju no dey work again?
It reminds me of the music of Kenny Rogers - You can't outrun the long arm of the law.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Borrowing technology
I wanna acknowledge the wonderful impact that the internet has had on my life & how it has transformed my reading habit.
We all know that it's very hard to get books in Africa at reduced prices (if not cut-throat sef). So most of us have resorted to photocopying any good book we lay our hands on. In fact, apart from the texts we use in our various fields of study, we don't delve into any literatures or print whatsoever. If it goes with the field we grab them, else ......so long. But in a swift turn of lifestyle, I've found that the ease of getting all sorts of books and nice literatures has increased in exponential proportion.
Once I told someone to help me get Da Vinci code when returning from England (though it eventually turned to me paying for it, a development I didnt like. I for use the money on IT texts), and I really did enjoy the book. I don't regret every penny I paid for it. But the happinness was short-lived when I discovered the full text (and I mean FULL TEXT) on the internet. The cost was just the time to download it. I became suddenly aware of the fact that it was possible to get stuffs erstwhile regarded as luxury and out of reach for free.
I swore never to use my money on texts again. I would download them from the internet. Immediately, I went to the net for Dan Brown's previous books. It was Digital Fortress I saw first. I didn't bat an eyelid before I downloaded it. Reading started immediately, only minimizing when I got other issues to attend to.
The thought of morality and sabotaging of owner's royalties didn't hit me until I downloaded and started reading the same author's third book,Deception point (as usual, for free). Now I'm in a fix as to what to decide. It's not my fault that the books were placed online, accessible to everybody. And these people also didn't make Africa version (cost) of their books, abi they expect us to pay money as high as that just because we want read texts? Say wetin happen? Money wey person go take chop?
So while I gave a few people the opportunity to deliberate on the morality of getting things for free on the internet, I've picked Salmon Rushdie's Satanic Verses, to later pounce on Angels & Demons (Dan Brown).
Is it our faults that there's imbalance in trade? If there was balance of trade, many people won't go for free things though. They won't mind parting with little convenient money in order to get what they want. I think it's high time Africans don't fight for balance of trade. There are other better ways of pulling the plugs on those who benefit the most from the imbalance. I remember that even the Japs and the whole Asian confederation also got their technological improvements not from technology transfer, but what my pastor will call borrowing of technology.
The word is "see good thing, copy it!". Am I wrong?
We all know that it's very hard to get books in Africa at reduced prices (if not cut-throat sef). So most of us have resorted to photocopying any good book we lay our hands on. In fact, apart from the texts we use in our various fields of study, we don't delve into any literatures or print whatsoever. If it goes with the field we grab them, else ......so long. But in a swift turn of lifestyle, I've found that the ease of getting all sorts of books and nice literatures has increased in exponential proportion.
Once I told someone to help me get Da Vinci code when returning from England (though it eventually turned to me paying for it, a development I didnt like. I for use the money on IT texts), and I really did enjoy the book. I don't regret every penny I paid for it. But the happinness was short-lived when I discovered the full text (and I mean FULL TEXT) on the internet. The cost was just the time to download it. I became suddenly aware of the fact that it was possible to get stuffs erstwhile regarded as luxury and out of reach for free.
I swore never to use my money on texts again. I would download them from the internet. Immediately, I went to the net for Dan Brown's previous books. It was Digital Fortress I saw first. I didn't bat an eyelid before I downloaded it. Reading started immediately, only minimizing when I got other issues to attend to.
The thought of morality and sabotaging of owner's royalties didn't hit me until I downloaded and started reading the same author's third book,Deception point (as usual, for free). Now I'm in a fix as to what to decide. It's not my fault that the books were placed online, accessible to everybody. And these people also didn't make Africa version (cost) of their books, abi they expect us to pay money as high as that just because we want read texts? Say wetin happen? Money wey person go take chop?
So while I gave a few people the opportunity to deliberate on the morality of getting things for free on the internet, I've picked Salmon Rushdie's Satanic Verses, to later pounce on Angels & Demons (Dan Brown).
Is it our faults that there's imbalance in trade? If there was balance of trade, many people won't go for free things though. They won't mind parting with little convenient money in order to get what they want. I think it's high time Africans don't fight for balance of trade. There are other better ways of pulling the plugs on those who benefit the most from the imbalance. I remember that even the Japs and the whole Asian confederation also got their technological improvements not from technology transfer, but what my pastor will call borrowing of technology.
The word is "see good thing, copy it!". Am I wrong?
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Hurray, no more sacred cows
Just at the time we were covering our eyes in shame, the Mantu Committee has come out with the only good thing they will come out with - the Immunity clause has finally been removed, Glory to God in the highest.
Thisday newspaper says :
"The National Assembly Joint Committee on the Review of the 1999 Constitution (JCCR) yesterday recommended an amendment to Section 308 of the 1999 Constitution by expunging the aspects that forbid investigation and prosecution of the President, his deputy, the governors and their deputies while in office."
This does mean no more disappearing acts like the Bayelsa scenario.
At least we'll celebrate this one first, then we'll think of how to tackle other issues. Congratulations Nigerians home & abroad.
Thisday newspaper says :
"The National Assembly Joint Committee on the Review of the 1999 Constitution (JCCR) yesterday recommended an amendment to Section 308 of the 1999 Constitution by expunging the aspects that forbid investigation and prosecution of the President, his deputy, the governors and their deputies while in office."
This does mean no more disappearing acts like the Bayelsa scenario.
At least we'll celebrate this one first, then we'll think of how to tackle other issues. Congratulations Nigerians home & abroad.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Blog while you can
My recent preoccupation has taught me one lesson, 'blog while you can'. I've been very busy, no thanks to the infamous Kama Sutra virus and its writer. I must admit that the writer is very smart. He sure is smarter than the writer of the deadly Zotob virus.
Work aside, it's very wonderful to return to blogsville as some will call it. Even with the moountainous workload, I keep thinking that I've missed much happening in the online village. Even Oscar went without my in-depth followup. I think the friggin virus writers should be sent to Guatanamo if caught.
Back at home, many things are happening in the political realm. Speakers (MPs)of State House of Assemblies & their deputies are being impeached day-in day-out. It's no new thing again. Some deputies are even resigning without being shown the exit door. This tells me that the remaining of 2006 and the early part of 2007 will be very interesting. The only bad part of it is that people would start killing themselves.
I think political fundings will reduce this time because of the 25 billion naira bank capitalisation. Are you asking what is the connection between political fundings and bank monetary reserves? It will be strange to know that politicians borrow money from banks for political campaigns. Those that have companies divert all the funds used to run the company (+ staff salaries) to politics, rendering many people jobless in the process. It even happened that one of the Governors that won the election in 2003 used his influence as a member of the board of directors to take huge sums of money (we're talking of billions of naira here) for political use. Sounds weird? That's Nigeria for you oh! At least this time too much funding won't be available for different clandestine political maneuvrings.
As for O3T, it's better to wait till presidential aspirants begin to emerge.
God help us.
Work aside, it's very wonderful to return to blogsville as some will call it. Even with the moountainous workload, I keep thinking that I've missed much happening in the online village. Even Oscar went without my in-depth followup. I think the friggin virus writers should be sent to Guatanamo if caught.
Back at home, many things are happening in the political realm. Speakers (MPs)of State House of Assemblies & their deputies are being impeached day-in day-out. It's no new thing again. Some deputies are even resigning without being shown the exit door. This tells me that the remaining of 2006 and the early part of 2007 will be very interesting. The only bad part of it is that people would start killing themselves.
I think political fundings will reduce this time because of the 25 billion naira bank capitalisation. Are you asking what is the connection between political fundings and bank monetary reserves? It will be strange to know that politicians borrow money from banks for political campaigns. Those that have companies divert all the funds used to run the company (+ staff salaries) to politics, rendering many people jobless in the process. It even happened that one of the Governors that won the election in 2003 used his influence as a member of the board of directors to take huge sums of money (we're talking of billions of naira here) for political use. Sounds weird? That's Nigeria for you oh! At least this time too much funding won't be available for different clandestine political maneuvrings.
As for O3T, it's better to wait till presidential aspirants begin to emerge.
God help us.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
As hot as .......
There are several reasons that can make you lose your cool or make your body system make you feel that you've got fever. The propaganda, or reality as it's unfolding, about Obasanjo's third term (o3T in short) is one that makes you be at your wit's end. Not knowing what exactly the cunning old man has in mind.
I downloaded IE 7.0 beta recently and wanted to have a feel of what Microsoft has got for us pronto. I forgot that every beta is as good as student doctors - it's only a test to know how well they can perform. And this test , annoyingly, doesn't only waste your precious time, but also rids you of many other valuble things that are attached to time. I wish I could sue someone for half a million dollars.
Back to normal rants, I have discovered this week that it's true that the ozone layer is wearing off. Infact, there's no ozone layer anymore in Africa. The heat has been intense since Monday. I get scared to go out when the sun is up. It gave me nostalgia about those times Uncle Tai would chase those of us who were scared to enter the cold for morning drills about our dormitories. I guess Nigeria shouldn't even be talking about nuclear plants for electricity generation. The hot sun we have here is enough to run many homes if the resources being scheduled for nuclear plants is redirected to research on Solar electricity generation. It sure is very hot in many areas of Nigeria except in Aso rock & the office of the Minister for Science & Tech. They aren't just feeling the heat. Maybe they must have developed thick skins. I wish I had the means myself to generate solar electricity. I will immediately cut off from the erratic National grid.
I downloaded IE 7.0 beta recently and wanted to have a feel of what Microsoft has got for us pronto. I forgot that every beta is as good as student doctors - it's only a test to know how well they can perform. And this test , annoyingly, doesn't only waste your precious time, but also rids you of many other valuble things that are attached to time. I wish I could sue someone for half a million dollars.
Back to normal rants, I have discovered this week that it's true that the ozone layer is wearing off. Infact, there's no ozone layer anymore in Africa. The heat has been intense since Monday. I get scared to go out when the sun is up. It gave me nostalgia about those times Uncle Tai would chase those of us who were scared to enter the cold for morning drills about our dormitories. I guess Nigeria shouldn't even be talking about nuclear plants for electricity generation. The hot sun we have here is enough to run many homes if the resources being scheduled for nuclear plants is redirected to research on Solar electricity generation. It sure is very hot in many areas of Nigeria except in Aso rock & the office of the Minister for Science & Tech. They aren't just feeling the heat. Maybe they must have developed thick skins. I wish I had the means myself to generate solar electricity. I will immediately cut off from the erratic National grid.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
All animals are equal
If you've been wondering where I've been, I've been on a vacation at Jeremy's blog. I guess that site was worth the time. I resume blogroll every time to catch every action that occurs there by the minute.
One very important thing I've learnt from my vacation is that you don't shout down/insult/downgrade/underrate/trample on other people's ideas because you feel that yours is better. Everyone has an element of uniqueness/royalty we assign to ourselves at every point. So it's natural to get negative reactions from people when their ideas/worths/values are treated mundane.
Pardon me if it sounds very irky, I was wondering if humans were less mortals. Or if we eventually wake up one day to find that some beings are superior to we humans, what would we do? Or, let me put it in a pill easy to swallow, what if there exists an energy strata in animals (say chickens) like that present in humans? That means that though chickens have a lower IQ and thinking faculty, they would have the capacity to understand and cherish their rights (as humans have human rights and fight for them).
If this energy level exists, it means that it would be unfair and unjust to kill any animal for game. Chickens would have chicken rights and it would be a gross misconduct to take laws into our hands by wiping out an entire colony of birds because some of them have flu. It would be like the Rwandan genocide . And if chickens have their way, they would sue humans for infringing on their rights to life and be given proper healthcare.
Think this not to be of any sense? Does it sound as if I'm blogging for chicken rights?Then why not read Animal farm by George Orwell or any of H.G Wells' books.
It sure is true that all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.
One very important thing I've learnt from my vacation is that you don't shout down/insult/downgrade/underrate/trample on other people's ideas because you feel that yours is better. Everyone has an element of uniqueness/royalty we assign to ourselves at every point. So it's natural to get negative reactions from people when their ideas/worths/values are treated mundane.
Pardon me if it sounds very irky, I was wondering if humans were less mortals. Or if we eventually wake up one day to find that some beings are superior to we humans, what would we do? Or, let me put it in a pill easy to swallow, what if there exists an energy strata in animals (say chickens) like that present in humans? That means that though chickens have a lower IQ and thinking faculty, they would have the capacity to understand and cherish their rights (as humans have human rights and fight for them).
If this energy level exists, it means that it would be unfair and unjust to kill any animal for game. Chickens would have chicken rights and it would be a gross misconduct to take laws into our hands by wiping out an entire colony of birds because some of them have flu. It would be like the Rwandan genocide . And if chickens have their way, they would sue humans for infringing on their rights to life and be given proper healthcare.
Think this not to be of any sense? Does it sound as if I'm blogging for chicken rights?Then why not read Animal farm by George Orwell or any of H.G Wells' books.
It sure is true that all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
A typical day
How is your typical day like? Do you find it hard to rest, work, read, think/meditate, eat or do anything? What do you do most? What is it that you would like to remove from your typical day.
Typical days have changed for many in Nigeria whose lives aren't far from the consumption of chicken. Bird flu is seriously disturbing ladies whose place of amusement is the nearest eatery.
Either you are an Aristo/Sugar Daddy (elderly men dating younger ladies) or you are a sugar-mouthed young man who wants to catch some fun, the place you all meet is the fast-food joint where everyone brings his 'Pacero'.
Well, things have changed very much as the sudden emergence of bird flu has incapacitated ladies from having their usual thrills on dates where they stand in front of the counter pointing their slim, long fingers (enchanced by long-fixed nails) at assorted grubs here and there. Men have hereby heaved a sigh of relief that at least it will be cost- effective to date ladies especially around this Valentine season. Nigerian ladies should be given awards or recognition for being one of the greatest consumers of chickens/turkeys and many flying objects.
I'm sure it's gonna take a while to find replacement for chicken which has precariously left the menu. Remember, chop chicken & die!
Well, my typical day is spent in front of the black box. First I check Guardian, then Thisday, Punch, then my email, and I eventually remember to use my aggregator to make news easier to read. Then I move to more entertaining things by going to the blogosphere. Chippla comes first, cause he always rants on very serious things (some say he's a Professor with bushy hair like Uncle Wole). Then I move to Imnakoya's grandiose parlor which is the only one of its kind. It's just 100% original. I don't miss Nneka for any reason, except I've got heaps of workload and I can't concentrate on the sumptuos posts ('cos it's necessary to concentrate on enjoyment to step down from the worries of the environment). Once I check Nneka, I don't miss dqueenb. Then Nyjaguy who's keeping it real, Frances (smile full everywhere), who I won't be surprised to see in one of the movies I watch very soon. I'm very sure the role she'll play will not be the frowning one, cos I can't comprehend how she's gonna make herself frown. Then I move to the general Nigeria blog aggregator where I can get a better view of all postings. Sometimes I wish Trae and Exschoolnerd can have posts more often.
When I'm feeling techie or geeky, I go to see Shola and Kayzee.
At a time like this, you shouldn't do without visiting boggywoggy/kisses & roses.
And then my eyes stroll to the buttom right corner of my screen. 'Oh shit!'. I blogged the whole day.
Happy Valentine y'all. We'll blog when work's done.
Have a fabulous Valentine. Ladies, no chop ur man too much oh.
Typical days have changed for many in Nigeria whose lives aren't far from the consumption of chicken. Bird flu is seriously disturbing ladies whose place of amusement is the nearest eatery.
Either you are an Aristo/Sugar Daddy (elderly men dating younger ladies) or you are a sugar-mouthed young man who wants to catch some fun, the place you all meet is the fast-food joint where everyone brings his 'Pacero'.
Well, things have changed very much as the sudden emergence of bird flu has incapacitated ladies from having their usual thrills on dates where they stand in front of the counter pointing their slim, long fingers (enchanced by long-fixed nails) at assorted grubs here and there. Men have hereby heaved a sigh of relief that at least it will be cost- effective to date ladies especially around this Valentine season. Nigerian ladies should be given awards or recognition for being one of the greatest consumers of chickens/turkeys and many flying objects.
I'm sure it's gonna take a while to find replacement for chicken which has precariously left the menu. Remember, chop chicken & die!
Well, my typical day is spent in front of the black box. First I check Guardian, then Thisday, Punch, then my email, and I eventually remember to use my aggregator to make news easier to read. Then I move to more entertaining things by going to the blogosphere. Chippla comes first, cause he always rants on very serious things (some say he's a Professor with bushy hair like Uncle Wole). Then I move to Imnakoya's grandiose parlor which is the only one of its kind. It's just 100% original. I don't miss Nneka for any reason, except I've got heaps of workload and I can't concentrate on the sumptuos posts ('cos it's necessary to concentrate on enjoyment to step down from the worries of the environment). Once I check Nneka, I don't miss dqueenb. Then Nyjaguy who's keeping it real, Frances (smile full everywhere), who I won't be surprised to see in one of the movies I watch very soon. I'm very sure the role she'll play will not be the frowning one, cos I can't comprehend how she's gonna make herself frown. Then I move to the general Nigeria blog aggregator where I can get a better view of all postings. Sometimes I wish Trae and Exschoolnerd can have posts more often.
When I'm feeling techie or geeky, I go to see Shola and Kayzee.
At a time like this, you shouldn't do without visiting boggywoggy/kisses & roses.
And then my eyes stroll to the buttom right corner of my screen. 'Oh shit!'. I blogged the whole day.
Happy Valentine y'all. We'll blog when work's done.
Have a fabulous Valentine. Ladies, no chop ur man too much oh.
To Josephine With Love
I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it(anywhere
I go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart).
From the buttom of my earth, I wish you a happy Valentine's day my Sunshine.
Valentine Heureux
Monday, February 06, 2006
The Unifying Factor
And the whole world went dancing for Nigeria (except Tunisians though) 'cos of their win on Saturday. Smiles glittered on the faces of perturbed people who felt heavy when they thought history would repeat itself as it did in 2004 when Tunisia beat Nigeria.
The whole 90mins had mixed reactions at different points. In the first half, people were commenting on the game passionately. With happiness were they watching the match and a radio station was playing the track Won kere si number wa - music of Fatai Rolling Dollar, meaning they're small for our number. Humour was flowing easily as the referee blew the whistle to end the half.
The second half took a different turn as the Tunisians found the back of the net with Enyeama unable to stop them. Bottles of ice-cold confidence were being passed around. 'It's only a joke', someone said. 'My boys will wake up in a while and they'll carry the goals home with huge baskets. Ten minutes from that time was enough to separate the impatient, solution-requesting fans from the passionate lovers of the round leather game. some had started shouting that JJ be brought in to destroy the Tunisans and send their coffins to Tunis for burial that same day. Many minutes went and the only substitution was Nankwo Kanu. People started becoming agitated and angry that the coach was just there looking with his horizontal tribal mark like Hercule Poirot in one of his crime series. Someone even asked his colleague if he still had Eguavoen's phone number that he wanted to speak with him right away :D.
Minutes flew and the substitutions that came in only reflected the thinking of the coach, he wanted tobeef up the defence.
Then Mr. Garba Lawal came in. I found it very amusing that even the commentators referred to him as Mr. People said he wanted to be called that way. Orisirisi na him dey happen for the game oh! It's in football that you see some men have afro hairstyles as high two storey buildings. Some dye theirs to look like aged people. Some even tattoo every part of their body, save the eyeballs and the nails. This one came and said he should be called Mr. Maybe by the time he is about to retire, they'll be calling him Pa or Lord Garba Lawal. But Mr.Garba didn't prove his mettle that much that he deserved to be referred to that way.
Then another 30 mins went without any result. It was then that mosst people abandoned the match and went strolling on the streetss, trying to send emails of insults and abuses via the wind to eguavoen@egyptcupofnations.fb . Many couldn't bear the adrenalin rush when watching penalty shoot-outs. Even Kanu didn't want to play his own penalty sef. Who wants to be the one to send his country out of nations' cup? I no blame am. That's how I realised how much Jesus did to die for man. He was strolling like Eze goes to school towards the post, with his head dangling left and right as he moved. People were already praying for him and encouraging him back home (as if he was hearing) that he would score.
In short sha, the Tunisians lost three penalties and we won. People went wild with jubliation. Those who couldn't bear the pain of watching the penalties ran back in front of the TVs in jubilation. Everybody was hugging and shaking one another! This does not happen any time. Not even during xmas. Christains/moslems, neighbours, everyone went jubilating. It was a site to behold.
Then I think to myself, if this kind of thing will unify people and make them so happy & not see any differences in one another,why not make the cup of nations a yearly affair? It's good blood for us oh! Not even Abacha's death made people so mad with excitement.
I must also say that it is now that I realise how good the goal keeper, Vincent Enyeama is.
I pray this kind of good thing continues to happen.
The whole 90mins had mixed reactions at different points. In the first half, people were commenting on the game passionately. With happiness were they watching the match and a radio station was playing the track Won kere si number wa - music of Fatai Rolling Dollar, meaning they're small for our number. Humour was flowing easily as the referee blew the whistle to end the half.
The second half took a different turn as the Tunisians found the back of the net with Enyeama unable to stop them. Bottles of ice-cold confidence were being passed around. 'It's only a joke', someone said. 'My boys will wake up in a while and they'll carry the goals home with huge baskets. Ten minutes from that time was enough to separate the impatient, solution-requesting fans from the passionate lovers of the round leather game. some had started shouting that JJ be brought in to destroy the Tunisans and send their coffins to Tunis for burial that same day. Many minutes went and the only substitution was Nankwo Kanu. People started becoming agitated and angry that the coach was just there looking with his horizontal tribal mark like Hercule Poirot in one of his crime series. Someone even asked his colleague if he still had Eguavoen's phone number that he wanted to speak with him right away :D.
Minutes flew and the substitutions that came in only reflected the thinking of the coach, he wanted tobeef up the defence.
Then Mr. Garba Lawal came in. I found it very amusing that even the commentators referred to him as Mr. People said he wanted to be called that way. Orisirisi na him dey happen for the game oh! It's in football that you see some men have afro hairstyles as high two storey buildings. Some dye theirs to look like aged people. Some even tattoo every part of their body, save the eyeballs and the nails. This one came and said he should be called Mr. Maybe by the time he is about to retire, they'll be calling him Pa or Lord Garba Lawal. But Mr.Garba didn't prove his mettle that much that he deserved to be referred to that way.
Then another 30 mins went without any result. It was then that mosst people abandoned the match and went strolling on the streetss, trying to send emails of insults and abuses via the wind to eguavoen@egyptcupofnations.fb . Many couldn't bear the adrenalin rush when watching penalty shoot-outs. Even Kanu didn't want to play his own penalty sef. Who wants to be the one to send his country out of nations' cup? I no blame am. That's how I realised how much Jesus did to die for man. He was strolling like Eze goes to school towards the post, with his head dangling left and right as he moved. People were already praying for him and encouraging him back home (as if he was hearing) that he would score.
In short sha, the Tunisians lost three penalties and we won. People went wild with jubliation. Those who couldn't bear the pain of watching the penalties ran back in front of the TVs in jubilation. Everybody was hugging and shaking one another! This does not happen any time. Not even during xmas. Christains/moslems, neighbours, everyone went jubilating. It was a site to behold.
Then I think to myself, if this kind of thing will unify people and make them so happy & not see any differences in one another,why not make the cup of nations a yearly affair? It's good blood for us oh! Not even Abacha's death made people so mad with excitement.
I must also say that it is now that I realise how good the goal keeper, Vincent Enyeama is.
I pray this kind of good thing continues to happen.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Thank God for China
I start my post today by saying that the world has become a better place by the actions of Chinese people. I say this because I know how the prices of goods were some 8-10 years ago before the swift rise-to-the-occasion act of China. I went to the market last month to purchase some computer accessories and I was surprised at the prices of very useful and exciting accessories. They were extremely low!!. I thought maybe the shop attendant didn't know the actual price of the accessories, so I decided to try another store to know if she made a mistake. Lo and behold, it was the same everywhere! Trust me, I visited the market the next day with more money to shop till I dropped.
My mind flashed back to some years ago when most of these accessories were brought in from the U.S and Europe. They were being sold at cut-throat and unreachable prices. Though there's the issue of durability, but the difference between high-quality goods produced in the US/Europe and the ones produced in China is atimes not too much considering the fact that fashion/tend/technology changes so fast that durable goods are dumped after a few months of use not because the become faulty but the fact that they get out-of-fashion.
Why western companies wouldn't love to come sell their goods in Africa can be traced to the fact that their prices are usually too high for the technology-crazy lot around here. So they move to China to produce their goods through outsourcing and the likes and ship they finished products to everywhere in the world.
One thing I sure know is that China will not continue to have foreigners continue to come and use its resources to produce goods and just pay chinese workers their wages and the government taxes and then take all the profit back to the West. If it is not in place right now, I forsee an indigenization program like that which Nigeria started in the 70s. That means that the technologies will be trapped and nationalised in Asian countries. What will America and Europe do if that happens? Food for thought!
And from the other perspective, will Africa continue to be consumers of goods produced elsewhere? If Africans continue to be heavy consumers, even to the level of King Mswati who has penchant for cars, then there is fire on the mountain!
My mind flashed back to some years ago when most of these accessories were brought in from the U.S and Europe. They were being sold at cut-throat and unreachable prices. Though there's the issue of durability, but the difference between high-quality goods produced in the US/Europe and the ones produced in China is atimes not too much considering the fact that fashion/tend/technology changes so fast that durable goods are dumped after a few months of use not because the become faulty but the fact that they get out-of-fashion.
Why western companies wouldn't love to come sell their goods in Africa can be traced to the fact that their prices are usually too high for the technology-crazy lot around here. So they move to China to produce their goods through outsourcing and the likes and ship they finished products to everywhere in the world.
One thing I sure know is that China will not continue to have foreigners continue to come and use its resources to produce goods and just pay chinese workers their wages and the government taxes and then take all the profit back to the West. If it is not in place right now, I forsee an indigenization program like that which Nigeria started in the 70s. That means that the technologies will be trapped and nationalised in Asian countries. What will America and Europe do if that happens? Food for thought!
And from the other perspective, will Africa continue to be consumers of goods produced elsewhere? If Africans continue to be heavy consumers, even to the level of King Mswati who has penchant for cars, then there is fire on the mountain!
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